April 10

[captainryan]

April has come and with it the warm weather. Werewolves, for the next six months at least, do not find it quite so miserable to be outdoors for three days in a row.  The level of easy prey is beginning to rise as well, as the animals of the forest begin their reproductive cycles anew. A good time to be a predator.

It’s the last night of the full moon. The right edge has begun to wane ever so slightly, barely noticeable, but its light is still bright over the hills and valleys of Milliways' Scottish simulation. The light is less illuminating under the trees, but still enough to pick out a path without too great a difficulty, provided there’s a path to follow.

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[hell_in_highheels]

She looks into his face for a very long moment, trying to discern just where this anger is coming from and if it's truly directed at her.

"Are you hearing me, Richard? You washed my face. You recognised me, you called me your mate. You mocked my accent."

Her hand comes up to touch his cheek. "You would never hurt me. Not in a million years."

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

He sits up and away from her, glaring.

"You can't know that," he growls at her.

He can't know that. And all his evidence points him in the opposite direction: if he were hungry enough, she's only so much meat.

He can't- he shoves it down, away from him. His face smooths out, still glaring but cold and distant.

[hell_in_highheels]

He's never pulled away from her in anger.

Never.

River looks at him and then looks away, not wanting him to see her face.

She throws off the blankets and scoots her way out of the warm darkness, scrubbing at her eyes with the back of her hand. She sits on the edge, her elbows on her knees, her head hanging down.

This is worse than her nightmare, she thinks, blinking back tears.

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

Dammit. He'd like nothing more than to go outside and pace his fear and anger off, but he can't very well do that when she's sitting in the door.

He shows his teeth at nothing in particular, throwing the blankets off himself. His clothes are where he left them, tucked in the back of the space, and snatches them to him in angry jerky motions.

He doesn't say anything.

[hell_in_highheels]

You happy to see me. Said was better I was with you. And was better.

She pushes off the door and stands, arms crossed tight over her chest against the morning chill. It's so quiet and peaceful here. She wants the storm in her heart and her head to quiet so she can talk to him.

I dream saw you, wolf. Saw you blind cold.

She remembers the dream vividly, remembers the wash of relief when she saw him, alive and vital.

She doesn't remember sinking to her knees in the leaf litter.

I dream saw you dead.

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

I already died, he snarls irritably. That's no reason for you to come out here and get yourself killed. He pulls on his shirt and starts with his pants and trousers.

God dammit, how can he make her see that what she did wasn't safe?

[hell_in_highheels]

He's not the only one, she thinks. She died too, and it felt like dying all over again, the idea that she'd lost him.

"Still breathing," she calls to him, her voice flat. Saying anymore feels pointless right now.

Which never stopped her before.

"What does it mean when you say," my mate. "You keep calling me it, and I parrot it back to you, thinking I know what it means. I must have it all wrong."

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

It means I worry about you! He zips up, then reaches for his boots.

You shouldn't be putting yourself in danger for no reason whatsoever. And don't tell me I'm safe. I'm not.

[hell_in_highheels]

"Speak English," she snarls, the hard sound filling the glen. It's the first time she's ever raised her voice to him.

"And quit speaking to me like I'm a small child that needs shepherding. I was dodging Daleks before your lily white arse was even born. I think I can handle you on a full moon."

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

He snarls and stands up without bothering to finish tying his boots. His fingers are splayed threateningly, as though he still had claws. Instincts are still high and it makes it hard to find the English for what he wants to say, forcing him to settle on the simplest words.

Again, he speaks slowly, enunciating everything.

"Did you bring silver?"

He knows she didn't. He doesn't smell it on her.

[hell_in_highheels]

"Don't be a fool, Richard." Her voice resumes its normal volume, her tone simply weary.

She pushes herself to her feet and returns to the den, her intent to reach passed him to retrieve the Holtzmann shield from where it's nestled against the wall.

"I'm not eager to die again, any more than you are." If he lets her, she'll buckle on the belt bag with the same ease he puts on his own holster.

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

He shakes his head roughly, still showing teeth.

"Only stops you from bleeding." He knows he's strong enough to throw her around and that the shield does little to stop concussive damage.

[hell_in_highheels]

She meets his gaze, level, not backing down an inch. "I took a calculated risk. I needed you."

Her jaw clenches and unclenches, and he can smell her need now. Sharp and bright, woven with pain and longing.

Do you know how much you mean to me?

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

"And if I killed you?"

He's still showing teeth, but his voice has gone soft and quiet. His eyes hold hers, unblinking.

[hell_in_highheels]

"You didn't, my love." Her voice is equally quiet, gentling now. "I'm not saying you aren't dangerous, Richard. I knew when I came out here that I was putting myself at risk. I hadn't intended to do anything more than lay eyes on you. I hadn't ever hoped to meet you, to touch you and run with you. To eat with you. To sleep beside you and feel you curled around me. I hadn't intended any of that."

There is a soft wonder in her voice as she speaks.

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

He presses his lips together, catching flashes of memory, pieces of what happened. He knows it doesn't sound so bad when that's all you see.

But it's only half.

"Don't come out here again."

[hell_in_highheels]

She nods and looks down for just a moment, before looking back into his face.

It takes her a moment to find the words. Any words.

"I'm sorry I shouted at you."

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

He lets out a breath of air all at once and shakes himself off. He's blinking as he meets her eyes now.

"I forget," he answers, still speaking carefully. "About English."

Especially when he's distracted by other matters.

[hell_in_highheels]

"I know." She gives him a small smile. "You forget a lot of things when you're angry."

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

He doesn't smile.

But he does turn himself to bump her shoulder.

[hell_in_highheels]

Her hand catches his shirt and then his forearm. She turns, her eyes downturned, and rests her head on his shoulder.

She's biting her lip hard, trying not to let her emotions overwhelm her. It's not working very well.

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

He lifts his free hand to pet the back of her head as she leans against him. He stands solid and strong, unmoving under her head.

He isn't sorry for his reaction, but that doesn't mean he likes to see/smell her this way.

[hell_in_highheels]

The touch of his hand breaks her composure. She exhales and leans against him, her hands coming up to grip his shirt front. Her face is pressed tight into his chest and as a result, her words are muffled.

"I still need you."

[captainryan.livejournal.com]

"I'm here." His voice vibrates through his chest, trying to reassure her. His other hand is free now and he uses it to hold her to him.

"I'm not going anywhere."

[hell_in_highheels]

She's tried valiantly, but she can't contain the tears any longer. Her arms tentatively slip around his neck and she stands on her tip toes to press her temple against his jaw. Her sobs are quiet, but they shake her whole body.

It is a revelation to her that, after surviving an encounter with his eight-foot tall, predator form, the thing that she couldn't bear to face was not his anger, but his withdrawal.

It's something she'll talk to him about. Later. Right now, she just wants to hold him, to feel his arms around her.