(no subject)

(After this.)

He enters his room and slams the door shut behind him. He paces a moment before catching sight of himself in the mirror. He’s still in the puppet suit. Suppressing a snarl, he starts taking off the fabric as quickly as possible. Where are his clothes? Probably still outside somewhere, along with his jackets and boots.

That’s just great.

He remembers everything. Everything. Babbling to complete strangers, playing with dominoes, God, he clung to Wells.

 

He told people to call him Richie.

He hasn’t realized it, but he’s growling.

Wait.

 

Didn’t Suzi say she found him as a werewolf? This meant he’s been running around the Bar as a soft and furry puppet, getting into who knows what trouble. Oh, no, don’t be stupid. People know. Whoever he was bothering knows. Hopefully, they just don’t know it was him.

 

Suzi. The last time he saw her was two mornings ago. He’d woken both her and Whistler up with a yell at being a puppet, a shock that had worn off all too quickly. But he knows how she gets about the Bar when it does…things like this.

 

At the moment, he’s inclined to agree with her.

 

But, what’s done is done, and he’s just going to have to deal with the repercussions of his actions. It’s not like Wells will let him forget. Bitter? Oh, yes.

 

The worst part of it all is that he knew exactly what he was doing. And he’d just been so damn happy throughout it all. He’s never been that happy, and if he were to admit it to himself…he misses it. Everything was right. Everything fit. He’s never experienced that before.

 

And it’s pissing him off. It wasn’t real. None of it. There was no reason for him to be that happy, and now there’s a hole and it hurts. The world was perfect, but it was fake and now that’s gone. And he doesn’t know how to feel about that.

 

Live and learn, Ryan. It’s gone, but he never should have had it in the first place. It. Wasn’t. Real. Happiness like that…it’s too good to be true. It dulls your senses, and you can’t see what’s what. His conversation with Wells is enough evidence of that. He looks at the model of his other form that Bar gave him. That’s real. Everything that thing represents, all sharp claws and violence and cold hard death. He'll take that over blinding happiness any day. Being happy like that is dangerous.

Anyway, he doesn’t deserve it.

So he’ll move on, like he always does. The hole will scar over eventually.
 

They always do.